


Shower Day

by Random_Nerd3



Series: JatP Whumptober 2020 [18]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst, Chronic Pain, Concerned Julie Molina (Julie and The Phantoms), Day 21, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I promise, It's Been A Hot Second Since I've Written For Whumptober, M/M, Multi, Reggie Has ADHD (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie Has Autism (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie Has Bad Parents (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie deserves hugs, Reggie-centric (Julie and The Phantoms), Soft Alex (Julie and The Phantoms), Soft Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Tags to be added, This Will Maybe Be Multi-Chap, Whumptober 2020, ends in fluff, idk yet, this was a little rough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27154789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random_Nerd3/pseuds/Random_Nerd3
Summary: It wasn't their fault, Reggie had to remind himself as he sat alone in the loft. Alex and Luke were allowed to have lives outside the band, outside him... but that didn't make it hurt any less.orWhen Reggie's alone in the studio his ADHD and Autisim act up, and Luke and Alex have to pick up the pieces.Now Edited And Extended as of 10/22/2020.
Relationships: Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson/Reggie, Past - Luke Patterson/Alex (Julie and The Phantoms)
Series: JatP Whumptober 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949821
Comments: 27
Kudos: 497





	Shower Day

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> Someone in the comments brought to my attention that this is more similar to an Autistic Meltdown than an ADHD one, and after further more in depth research I agree.
> 
> I've changed the tags accordingly and hope to write more in this AU soon!
> 
> I do not have or know anyone who has ADHD. 
> 
> If you do have it and wish to see anything about how I portray ADHD in this fic changed, feel free to comment about it. 
> 
> Keep in mind that this fic was intend to be for entertainment purposes only.
> 
> Title taken from song Shower Day by The Amazing Devil.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> ~R

After their performance at the Orpheum the boys discovered they could make themselves visible to people other than Julie. Reggie found out first, accidentally. He’d been talking to Ray, ranting yet again about how the new Star Wars movies ruined his childhood. He made the mistake of wishing Ray could see them, then suddenly Julie’s dad was yelling _el diablo_ at him and racing out of the house. It hurt, but the reaction wasn’t exactly unjustified. 

For the past few weeks Luke and Alex had been spending more time with their significant others than Reggie… which was fine. It just meant he had to deal with most of the _hey congratulations, you’re half-alive!_ changes himself. He spent most of the time at the beach, under the pier where he’d hide from his parents as a kid when they were yelling too loud… or in the bathroom of the studio. 

He didn’t run the shower, but just _being_ in the bathroom, squeezed between the small space between the toilet and the counter like he did as a kid when things were getting to be too much. When his brain was getting too wired with conspiracy theories and the little voice in the back of his head telling him _Alex and Luke don’t actually like you, they’re just using you and when the next best person comes along they’ll drop you._ In all honesty he’d much rather prefer to turn on the half-shower and let the sound of the water drown out his rush of chaotic thoughts… but he didn’t want to risk running up the Molina’s water bills. Ray had enough to worry about, Reggie didn’t want to end up adding to his stress. 

Besides the point.

Since Alex and Luke became infatuated by their significant others, they stopped hanging out with Reggie as much. Not that Reggie could blame them, he wasn’t _nearly_ the talented lyric writer Julie was, or could give Alex all that Willie was offering him. 

He was just… Reggie _._ Stupid, untalneted, waste of space, sorry excuse for a son _Reggie._

Usually when things would get this bad Luke and Alex picked up on it. Luke mostly, though Alex had gotten pretty good at picking up on Reggie’s Bad Days the month before they died. But Alex and Luke weren’t there for him anymore, not like they used to be. Reggie couldn’t blame them though, they had to deal with him for ten years and they had to all die in order for them to start branching out more. Alex and Luke worked hard to get the band where they were, and every deserved a life outside of the band. But because they hadn’t been spending as much time with Reggie they started to miss things. 

They missed the way Reggie blinked furiously at the bright stage lights, the way Reggie stopped crossing the stage to Luke’s mic during performances… because if he did that meant he’d have to pass Alex’s drums, and Alex’s drums were _loud_. 

They didn’t notice when he stopped taking the harmonies with Alex during concerts. Luke and Julie were too in love with each other, Luke’s heart eyes were in constant use. Alex wouldn’t stop giving Willie that adorable looking smile whenever the skater showed up to their gigs. 

They didn’t notice the way Reggie started to close himself off, how he flinched whenever someone got too close… how his headaches were starting to come back, and how he slowly slipped into being non-verbal again. Only talking when it was absolutely necessary to keep up the front of everything being _okay_. Because his friends had bigger things to worry about, the didn’t need to think he wasn’t fit enough to play in the band.

Not to mention, Luke never seemed to look at him the way he used too… the way he looked at _Julie_ now. Not that Reggie was jealous, he wasn’t. He was happy for his friends, his brothers, that found someone they both found someone they loved… and he was just… selfish wishing for the times when Alex and Luke made _him_ their top priority. “Reggie everything okay?” Luke asked during practice one day.

His headache was starting to get too much and he messed up the chorus of _Bright,_ something that was so easy he should’ve been able to play in his sleep. Reggie nodded, fiddling with his tuning pegs instead of turning to look at Luke. The sound of the piano faded, signaling Julie must’ve realized something was up. Luke’s shoes stepped into Reggie’s line of vision, and Reggie flinched back, tripping over an amp as he tried to get away. “Reggie,” Luke said, arms up and palms facing outward. 

Reggie ignored Luke, wrapping his arms around his chest squeezing them tightly. The pressure soothed him, not as well as Luke’s hugs did but it was good enough. Luke reached up to tip Reggie’s chin up, but Reggie ducked his face out of the way. Luke had those _damn_ puppy dog eyes though, and Reggie was never able to resist them. Judging by the small smirk at the corners of Luke’s lips he knew it too. “Hi,” Luke said, worry shining in his eyes. This was exactly what Reggie didn’t want to happen. Luke had more important things to worry about than thinking Reggie was going off the deep end. Reggie dropped his gaze, finding a sudden interest in picking at the sleeve of his flannel.

“Hi,” Reggie said back, whispering like it was a secret. He glanced at Julie, who looked confused, still sitting on the piano bench. He hadn’t told her about his ADHD yet, when they were fully ghosts it sort of just… stopped. It was a blessing in disguise, because now it was back in full force and Reggie had forgotten how he dealt with it all. His hands started shaking slightly, despite them being balled into fists and shoved into his armpits. Luke’s eyes flitted to Alex, who poofed out from behind his drum set and next to Reggie.

“You wanna tell us what’s going on?” Luke asked, out of the corner of his eye Reggie saw Julie start to inch closer to them. Reggie glanced at Julie, who seemed hesitant about joining them. It was like there was a glass wall, separating Reggie from Julie and she didn’t want to shatter it just yet. Reggie let out a whine, and started wringing his hands together, twisting and pulling at his fingers. His brain wasn’t working with his mouth. He wanted to tell Luke, to explain to him how he felt. How much it hurt him to see Luke smile like _that_ at Julie during performances instead of him but Reggie just _couldn’t_. Another whine escaped from his mouth. He was getting more distressed by the second. 

He hated this, the storm of thoughts that thundered in is mind telling him he was worthless. The whispers of his father yelling at him, saying he’d never amount to anything. Everything was just too much too fast, so in a desperate attempt to feel something to feel _anything_ Reggie shrugged off his flannel, ignored the chill that cut through the air, and started scratching at his arms. His fingernails dug into his skin, leaving rows of white lines, _like a blank sheet of music,_ Reggie thought absentmindedly. He stared at the white lines his fingernails left behind in fascination, not noticing how red his skin was getting.

“Hey none of that,” Alex whispered, hesitantly reaching forward. The drummer grabbed Reggie’s hands, and Reggie switched from scratching to kneading the meat of Alex’s palm. Reggie poked and prodded and pressed Alex’s hand, trying to figure out how to make his mouth _move._ The dim lights in the studio were suddenly too bright. He started to blink rapidly, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. Luke’s eyebrows furrowed together as he reached a hand up to lightly cup Reggie’s face. Reggie whined softly then dropped Alex’s hands so he could wrap his arms around Luke’s. Reggie clawed at Luke, but Luke reached up and grabbed his hand to stop him.

“No,” Luke scolded as Reggie tried to go back to scratching his own arms. “Scratching’s on the No List, remember?” Reggie did remember.

“No List,” Reggie mumbled, dropping his arm limply to the side. The No List was written up by the band after he had a particularly bad episode when Reggie got frustrated at a melody he couldn’t quite nail down. Instead of spending the rest of rehearsal practicing, Luke managed to talk Reggie down, then the four of them, Bobby included, sat down together and drew up two lists of coping mechanisms Reggie used. Luke had written the original copy of the lists in his songbook.

The Yes List and The No List.

While The Yes List consisted of things like drumming fingers and humming music or playing his bass, The No List was written with anything Reggie had previously done that could cause him or someone else bodily harm… scratching included. They had a rule, the four of them, no matter what they were doing if Reggie felt like he had to do something on The No List he had to tell the band, and they’d sit and talk it out, helping him through it. 

“No List,” Reggie said again, repeating his earlier statement. “No List, No List, _No List_ ,” he said, unable to say anything else. He looked at Luke, panicked. Maybe today was the day his friends finally decided they had enough of him being a freak.

“You’re not a freak,” Luke declared, and well… it’s not like Reggie was able to protest. “Touch?” Luke asked, reaching his second arm up. Reggie nodded, eyes starting to tear up. Luke’s guitar calloused fingers brushed their way through his hair and Reggie let out another low wine, pawing at Luke’s arm. Though the original versions of The Yes List and The No Lists were lost to history, the three of them had both of them memorized.

“Julie, can you turn off the lights please?” Alex asked, and the blinding light causing the most of his Episode disappeared. That’s what Reggie called them back in the nineties, _Episodes_. “Better?” Alex asked Reggie, drumming his fingers against his back. The familiar beat to the beach jam Luke wrote for him one day filled his mind, flushing out all the dark thoughts. Luke hummed along to the song, continuing his hair-petting. Reggie took a shaky breath as he nodded, peeling himself out of Luke’s chest.

“Reggie, are you okay?” Julie asked, slowly approaching them. They’d somehow managed to move Reggie to the couch without him realizing it. Luke was on his right, Alex to his left. Here though, in the studio with his band, his _family_ Reggie never felt safer. Just as he started to relax his right hand started to shake again and he let out a choked sounding sob, burrying his head into Luke’s shoulder.

“Okay,” Reggie muttered back, still only able to repeat things. Luke ran his hand though Reggie’s hair again concern still reflecting in his eyes. Reggie managed a small smile, and in return Luke looked like he hung the moon. Maybe he should smile more often… if he was able to get Luke to look _that_ happy. “Hurts,” Reggie managed to croak out, voice hoarse from the sobbing. Alex hummed, continuing to drum his fingers, the constant beat was something Reggie could focus on without having to think about it too much. It was a grounding force in the chaos of his mind.

“What hurts Reggie?” Luke asked. Reggie whined again, pressing his face back into Luke’s shoulder. He heard Julie let out a giggle, and couldn’t help but smile at the sound. Luke helped Reggie settle into a more comfortable position, his head in Luke’s lap and his feet stretching over Alex’s.

“Man, why do _I_ always get the feet?” Alex complained, Reggie managed to let out a laugh. Luke started to run his fingers through Reggie’s hair, who hummed appreciatively, nuzzling into Luke’s t-shirt. Reggie suddenly felt exhausted, his eyelids growing heavier due to the darkness of the room and Luke’s ability of being a literal space heater.

“‘M tired,” Reggie muttered, hand twisting into Luke’s shirt. “Sleepy,” Reggie said, eyes starting to flutter shut. When he turned his head up to face Luke’s he could see the guitarist seemed to be less worried. Reggie felt calmer now, more in control… safer in the arms of his best friends. He didn’t want to go to sleep though, because if he woke up they could all disappear.

“It’s okay, we’re here Reg,” Alex promised, tracing circles against Reggie’s ankle. “Never gonna leave you, ever.” Luke nodded in confirmation as he traced a pattern onto Reggie’s forehead with his thumb. 

“Family, remember?” Luke asked softly, Reggie nodded in response. “Which means when you wake up… if you feel like talking you’ll tell us what set you off?” Luke said, wording his request like it was a question. Reggie let out a growl and turned his head away from Luke. “Hey, hey,” Luke said, turning Reggie’s head back to face him. “We always helped you through this in the nineties, and we’ll help you through it now,” Luke promised. Reggie mumbled a response too low for anyone to hear.

“Hey asshole,” Alex said, pinching Reggie’s ankle. Reggie retorted with a violent sounding hiss. “We talk about feelings here, got it? That’s what you got when you signed up to be our brothers.” Reggie glared at him, but nudged at Luke’s hand, urging him to continue the hair-petting motion.

“Annoying,” Reggie said, sticking his tongue out at Alex. Luke managed to catch the pillow Alex threw at him in retaliation just before it hit his face. Julie grabbed a blanket and threw it over him, the softness a welcoming comfort.

“I hope you feel better Reggie,” Julie whispered, kneeling down so he could see her kind smile. “And I hope you know you’re my brother too, like Carlos. I love you Reg,” Julie said, planting a soft kiss to his forehead. Reggie liked Julie, he could _trust_ Julie.

“Better,” Reggie repeated sleepily, eyelids growing too heavy to hold open. Luke started singing softly, a song the band had never rehearsed with before. It was something new he was working on, but the tune was familiar to Reggie. He should know, he wrote it after all… so Reggie found himself falling asleep to the sound of Luke singing _Home Is Where My Horse Is_ , a promise to protect him, no matter what the threat was.

**Author's Note:**

> Yell at me on Tumblr: @Random-Nerd-3


End file.
